Commentary

I just puked in my mouth a little.

On the surface an article about Disney’s PotC ride being given a holiday makeover. OK fine. But keep reading and you’ll learn of plans for characters from OTHER films being intermingled amongst the pirates, Miley Cyrus replacing “the Redhead”, and the ability to “shop” while you ride the ride by pointing a telescope at merchandise tucked amongst the scenery and clicking a “charge me now” button.

And you thought George Lucas had a knack for violating your inner child. It seems he’s a saint next to the mouse. There’s a chance this is all a joke, but Disney has hardly earned my benefit of the doubt in such matters.

You better not pout – MiceAge.com.

Curses to Scarlett Harlott, who made me aware of this article and thus depriving me of sleep for the next week or two.

After Action Report: 2010 Devil’s Dozen Ceremony

As anyone paying even a sliver of attention surely knows, the 2010 Fell’s Point Privateer Day weekend was kicked off with a Friday night induction ceremony of the first annual Devil’s Dozen winners – initiates into the fledgling fraternal pirate organization of The Order of Leviathan. The Order is the brainchild of legendary pirate Talderoy, who wished to create a society of accomplished pirates. The Order’s ranks will be added to each year via the Devil’s Dozen election, a process by which peers from within the pirate community may choose pirates of note from amongst their own. Actually, the process is a little more complex than that, but it’s close enough for the purpose of enjoying the induction festivities. (more…)

Pyrate Daze’s Celebrity List FAILS

Being overly blunt has never won me friends, but I just can’t put this delicately – Pyrate Daze has the most idiotic celebrity guest list imaginable for a pirate festival of any sort. Sure, it has some of the usual suspects (Jamaica Rose, Cascabel, a large helping of Pirates of the Caribbean B-listers, and others), but the lion’s share of the guest list is comprised of folks that have nothing… remotely… to do… with… PIRATES. Consider: (more…)

Narwhals…

I’m right crabby today – there are several things in the pirate world right now that boggle my mind and annoy my delicate sensitivities. My grumbles spawn from the goings-on of several different pirate events and crews, and seem to be too numerous to list without going mad. But I’d offer these three highlights for consideration: (more…)

Avast: Pirate Chic Returns – And it Frightens Me

2Avast: Pirate Chic Returns – BlackBook.

There’s a right way to do pirate fashion, and there’s a wrong way. Wanna guess which one Vivienne Westwood chose? The wrong way – definitely the wrong way. But now that I think on it, most ways I’ve seen on the runways have been the wrong way. Jean Paul Gaultier back in 2007 had a mixed bag, and Gwen Stefani with her Rich Girl video struck several high points, but most of the stuff out there has been sorely misguided – and that goes double for mens’ wear. Why, oh why does no one design awesome modern clothing for the heterosexual, non-demented guy pirate? The answer, of course, is that straight, sane guy pirates pay no attention to fashion whatsoever, and buy most of their modern clothing at yard sales and side-show gift shops.

A few more highlights: (more…)

After Action Report: NorCal Pirate Festival

norcal09_1www.norcalpiratefestival.com

Mid-June has come and gone, and it was my great pleasure to attend the Northern California Pirate Festival in Vallejo. Having attended this festival each of its three years, I’d love to say that I’ve witnessed it grow into something fantastic, but in this rare case no growth was necessary – never have I seen an event so much hit the ground running as this. The 2009 season proved every bit as worthy an event as its two predecessors as the waterfront park was again converted into a full-on pirate festival for two days during Fathers’ Day weekend. (more…)

A Bit on Mondern Piracy

Since the very beginning of Bilgemunky.com, I’ve mostly ignored any news regarding modern pirates. I freely admit that my love of historical pirates is selective – frock coats good, rape bad. Rum, flintlocks, cutlasses, ships, pirate hats all good, actual cold-blooded murder or torture bad. Of course, being as the 1700’s were harsh times, and you could easily make the case that pirates of the day were in many ways no better or worse than the very governments they fought against, and that sailing merchants often created an environment so cruel that it left their crew little choice but to go on the account – this only further enables the easy glamorization of historical (and fictional) old-timey pirates. (more…)

PyrateCon/PyrateWeek After-Action Report

dsc_3990Unlike previous after-action reports, I don’t need to provide you with full details as to how PyrateCon and PyrateWeek went – you can read about them on my earlier posts from onsite. But, it does seem worthwhile to offer a few final thoughts. Both events have enjoyed (meaning suffered) their share of political BS – some of it perhaps justified, some of it perhaps less so. For me – and I imagine for most readers – none of it adds up to squat. All that matters to me as an attendee is whether these events are worth my time and money to attend. That’s not to say wronged parties shouldn’t seek justice, just that it’s not my concern to sort it all out. (more…)

Some Brief Words about PyrateCon

There’s a whole lot of gossip floating around the web right now about PyrateCon. Most of it consists of either vague allegations based on “inside information” or long winded tirades that have little to do with anything the general public needs or wants to know.

Since returning from PyrateCon 08 I’ve been torn between whether I should publicly share my thoughts, or quietly “wait and see” what occurs on its own. But I get asked, and then asked again what my thoughts are on PyrateCon, and so I think it’s time to just throw some things out there. So here are some facts. No inside information, just the publicly available truth: (more…)