Does “Swagger” Make You Smell Like a Pirate?

So I was pretty stoked when I saw Old Spice’s “Swagger” at my local supermarket. I mean, just look at it! The red and black label, the very name “swagger”, and of course Old Spice’s long tradition of making you smell, well, old. And spicy. Anyways, I figured if ever there was an underarm deodorant that would make you smell piratey, this must be it.

Well, let’s not get too excited. First and foremost Swagger smells like nothing more than underarm deodorant. You know that smell that all other deodorants have? Yeah, that smell. Maybe it’s the smell of the aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex, but it has that same, non-distinctive perfuminess that they all seem to have. Coupled with that smell that they add to all “manly” deodorants so as to distinguish them from girly ones. Let’s call it “Drakkar.”

So beneath these initial, primary aromas, is there an underlying foundation of pirate smells? Beats me, I’ve already grown bored with it. Which probably means no.

Comments (6)

  1. Black Dog Nate

    How disappointing. I find Old Spice’s original scent sufficiently piratical, though. Failing that, just splash some Captain Morgan’s under the ol’ pits and you’re ready for the evening.

  2. Zingara Carmella

    If there is a “pirate smell” I wager would be ” salty sea water and rum” nothing better to entice a wench….

  3. Louisiana Jeff

    Wouldn’t “pirate smell” be what you aRRRRRe washing off?

  4. RedTom Read

    Old Spice’s “Fresh” collection boasts a couple supposedly piratical smells including the Fiji scent. It supposedly smells like “palm trees, sunshine and freedom”. I think it smells like Old Spice mixed with suntan lotion, but what do I know?

  5. Pirate Chaplain

    The back of the Old Spice “Aqua Reef” reads something along the lines of “The scent of the Caribbean that your armpits crave.” Honest, I’m serious. Apparently even my underarms are pirates!

  6. Black Dog Nate

    Why do you think they call them ARRRmpits?

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