Move over, pirates; here come the zombies – Portland News | Oregon Local News –

Move over, pirates; here come the zombies – Portland News | Oregon Local News –

OK, it’s just a fact that some loyal pirates are going to be wooed by steampunk and leave our salty fold – and why shouldn’t they? Steampunk is awesome, which is why it’s such a threat.

But zombies??? Come on now. Really. Leave us for steampunk and I can still respect you in the morning. Leave us for zombies and you’re dead to me. Not walking dead, just dead. Graveyard dead. Worms eating your tiny dead brain dead. Dead dead.

Piracy as a subculture is a quirky challenge. Zombies as a subculture is stupid. I have spoken, and it is so.

Comments (4)

  1. John Flint

    Quote from the site…

    “Zombies are the new pirates,” says Brian Krell, as he applies oatmeal and cornflakes to his face for the Zombie Walk.

    Lies, lies, and lies

    And stop sticking cereal to yourself, get a nice tricorner instead


  2. R. Scott Rogers

    First of all, anyone who uses the phrase “_______are the new______” deserves to be keelhauled.

    Secondly as one who appreciates zombie movies, and literature, I have to say these people should spend more time preparing for a zombocalypse (ie: procuring weapons, and ships) than trying to mimic the undead. Everyone knows that zombies aren’t fooled by disguises, and since ghouls can’t swim I guess the last laugh will be ours!

  3. The Quartermaster

    Hmmm… wear boots and a kick arse hat or mix oatmeal up into paint and smear myself with it. Hmmm. Be witty, use swords and B.P. or smell like ass and not talk.

    Yaaaaa. I’m staying pirate. Don’t get me started on Steampunk. For me, it’s like Rush…. only bad.


  4. Red Beard

    A “Zombie Renaissance” as a cultural trend?

    Seriously, how lazy do you have to be to pick zombies as your social outlet?

    Not only that, but I bet their faires suck.

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