Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
“Pirates of Silicon Valley”? Yeah, right. This is the most fraudelent movie title since “The Neverending Story.” Not one freakin’ pirate, just a bunch of computer geeks going to meetings. No ships, no wenches, not even a single “Yarrr” throughout this entire 95 minute disaster. This movie claims to be based on a true story, but I looked up Bill Gates and Steve Jobs in every pirate encyclopedia I have, and neither is mentioned even once – so they weren’t even real people, apparently.

I mean, if they had a movie about Blackbeard going to business meetings, then I could at least give them partial credit for putting a real pirate in the film – even if he wasn’t doing piratey things. But this is a movie, supposedly about pirates, that depicts non-pirates doing nothing remotely piratey. What a crock.